There is always that set of all-time movies that you absolutely need to watch while studying so that you can replicate and be happy one day when you look back and think how many shits you have done. Some guy once said “Sooner or later you have to give up the hope for a better past”. That must have been Irwin D. Yalom and what he says is basically true. If you don’t get drunk and try to sleep with your teacher now or any other stupid thing that can come cross your mind due to high levels of different substances now, you’ll regret it later. I have to warn you that these might not be some awesome discovery and you could’ve watched them already. These movies are meant to serve as an inspiration to improve your shitty student life so read it, watch them, buy them, or get the hell out of here.
I hope they serve beer in hell
Motherfucking Tucker Max and his perfect student life. We can all share the story about him being a pathetic living being with no friends or anything, but that movie is all people want to be. Get drunk and laid. Basically you hardly need more and they prove it, except for that cheesy end where everyone’s in love and Tucker gets a chance to fuck a blind chick – which is his for being in love. All I need to say is that movie starts with the footage of the police braking into the house because someone heard the screams. But no, no police business over there, just good ol’ Tucker. Follow him on his quest to fuck a midget. Although it has a pretty shitty score in IMDb with 5.3 (who the heck rated it?) I assure you, it’s fucking brilliant.
American Pie – almost all parts
Yeah, yeah, too obvious… Well, fuck you! You might want to know that my generation was the first one to start using the term MILF because this is where it was invented. Pretty much everything we knew about sex we extracted from this movie series. I have to admit it took a while till I figured out what the heck ‘second base’ means. I learned that after getting a steady internet connection – hence, far later. Look at how Stiffmeister and rest of the fellas get into the joys of getting drunk and laid. Later parts include his younger brother who is nothing but a cheap version, but what to do, still watchable and kinda funny.
Now I don’t know what’s the problem with the people who rate on IMDb, but this one also has quite a shitty rate although the movie sends a great message. Must be because people who rate there are slimy little bitches like Gerald. Anyway, Silas and Jamal lead you into the joys of pot and life on Harvard as everyone is dreaming about it. Although far from reality I guess, it’s pretty funny piece of art you should be fucking watching it right now. Not that I want to force you on something, but you’ll be at a level better at understanding life around us knowing that if you grow weed out of your friend’s ashes he’ll be there every time you smoke it with all the answers to the test.
If I remember well this could be a movie about high schoolers, but don’t be depressed that early because these high schoolers have a life that is way better than yours. I mean, except for the guy who orchestrated the party. By orchestrated, I mean made a giant pile of crap he can’t handle. Watch and learn how to throw a party, how not to throw a party and how to destroy your fucking house. And life. And your parents’ life as well. Can’t remember exactly how it ended… It’s the 5th beer I am sipping… That might be the cause. Anyway to make any story better you just need to say ‘true story’ and that’s exactly what this is.
Now I have to say that after 4th, I ran out of ideas and wanted to name Euro trip instead, but luckily I thought of this one. Not the best in the stupid-but-funny niche, but still interesting as an inspiration of what you could’ve been doing as a student. My favourite heartbreaking moment is when Kyle finally lose virginity with that fat black chick. I was all in tears. We might just call this also a bone-breaking moment as well because that was part of the reason I was crying.
Watch them in joy and feel free to write in comments “you’re stupid if you think that this movie is good” because I deserve it and yes, I am stupid. Aren’t we all?