During my time abroad I always lived with men. Why? No idea but it was always like this. I think it was because it was easier to find a flat with male roommates being a man… or maybe because of my strong sex appeal. Who knows. And for some reason, life never led me to experience living with girls.
All of this changed this year, some months ago. I moved into a flat with two girls. Two unknown girls. What I experienced has changed my mind forever. I will never be the same but it is too early to know if the change is for a better or worse life. This is what I have learned.
Girls love small lights.
Everywhere. Because having a BIG central light in the living rooms is too manly. We need 100 small lights around the place to make it comfy. I am spending more time turning on all the lights in the living room than I spend being in it. It is like a process: first the lamp next to the door, then the LEDs and the lamp close to the sofa, the LEDs close to the window, the lamp close to the TV… Endless.
Hair pins. What is going on…
If you, men, don’t know what hair pins are, I have a picture for you:
After one week living of with two girls, I found some hair pins in the bathroom. I thought “it is normal, they prepare themselves in the bathroom”. After a month, I found some in the living room, I thought “one of them forgot them here”. I put them in the bathroom. Some days after I realized I was finding them EVERYWHERE. Kitchen, corridor, balcony, even in my room! You don’t know how, but they are always there… They must have thousands of them…
As one of my roommates says “you never have enough hair pins”.
One sunny day you are walking down the street and suddenly you see a long blonde hair in your jacket. Weird. Your hair is short and brown. You think “it could come with the air…”. you arrive home, you sit on the sofa and suddenly you see a long blonde hair in your t-shirt. Is the hair following you? NOPE. You are living with two blonde girls! Their hair is everywhere. It is not their fault, they can’t control it, but deep inside you think “the bathroom has to be a hair massacre”.
Your bathroom looks like a drugstore.
As a normal man, you may have shampoo and shower soap. Done. Why would you need more? Well, living with girls you will discover a whole world of products for the shower that you may not find useful but they do. Also the space that will belongs to you in the bathroom is like when you are the youngest of the family: you are allowed to be there, but no one gives a shit. That’s why you will have approximately 5% of the space. Just enough for you to survive.
They spend a mysterious amount of time in the bathroom.
When one of my roommates tells me “I am going to the shower” I know I will not see her again for at least one hour. And be ready if they want to take a shower before going out… They can spend decades there.
If someone asks me what would I give as an advice for someone living with girls, I would say “ALWAYS, TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOUR ROOMMATES”. You’re welcome.
Temperatures out of control.
One time you arrive to your flat, you open the door and suddenly you feel a warm wave hitting your face. That’s how I imagine hell. But it was not hell, it was my flat. My roommates felt cold and decided to turn on the heater. Cold? The Sahara was colder than my living room. If you are living with girls you will feel those weird temperatures. They can be cold and the next minute they are hot and not in the interesting way.
“Mmm I don’t care”.
If you have a girlfriend you will know this feeling. If not, I will explain it with one example. My roommates and I decided to order food for lunch. “What do you want to order?” I asked. Both answer “Mmmm I don’t care, all is okay for me”. I said, “what about pizza?”. One of my roommates answered “Mmmm na… I prefer something different”. “Sushi?”. My other roommate said “I don’t want sushi”. After 20 minutes trying to figure out what we order, I ate alone in my room because it was easier. I hate the female gender.
Based on my experience, girls like plants more than boys do. A lot more. And it is normal, because boys are rational. We think “why should I have something like a pet when it doesn’t do anything?” Some people could say “because they look nice”. That is not a reason for men. Please. If it is not a carnivorous plant, it is not worth it.
You will learn a lot about a series that you don’t care about at all.
One day, your roommates are talking about Grey’s Anatomy and you don’t know what it is. The obvious thing is to ask what they are talking about, but it is also the most dangerous thing, because they will then explain you the whole plot. They don’t care if you want to hear it or not. You will listen and remember and in the future they will talk with you about the series.
It’s Sunday. You had an awesome party last night. The hangover is killing you and you’ve just drank all the water that you had in your room. You go to the kitchen and find one of your roommates baking a cake. Or cupcakes. A LOT OF CUPCAKES. Why? Because something inside her mind thought it would be a good idea to bake cupcakes for the whole country. And you like it because you could eat 20 of them. I must say one of the biggest perks (perhaps the only one) of living with girls is precisely this.
If you want to know how to find the perfect roommate you should read our 6 rules to find one!